Looking Back

I think recently I get more and more in love with blogging. It's actually still interesting as it always is especially when you have something about life to share with. But unfortunately, many people stop doing it.

These two days I spent most of my time reading back all the posts I have written down since the beginning. I have blogged for more than 2 years now and there's kinda a lot to read. I was just wondering what I have actually noted down here about my life experiences. I feel embarrassing for some of the things I said and the vain photos I posted though.

Looking back at my past, I worked so hard during my A level just for my dentistry course, my future. I held on it for long enough. But who knows what will happen in the future? I guess no one ever thought that I will waste a year working and still unsure about my own future now. I faced so many obstacles for my choice and in the end, I finally gave up and changed my path to dancing which I hesitated a lot. However, now I'm not going for that as well...

Everything are just meant to be I think. If my first choice wasn't anything with such a high and strict requirement, I don't think I would fight hard enough and got good grades for my A level. Even though a year or more is wasted, but I learned a lot during this period. I heard so many people complaining about Uni life and how hard is it to live all alone and so on. But hey, I got no friends and family with me as well most of the time. I encountered hell lots of bad things. I guess God loves me much and has a special arrangement for me. Compared to the others, I'm internally weak. Somehow, all I have went through might help me to feel easier when I really have started my Uni life. That's what I think.

Due to my weight problems last time, I started to stay at home and refused to go out. When time goes by, I even get lazy to socialize with the others. I started to keep things inside and enclose myself in my own world. Maria keeps telling me it's not a good thing and she feels that I will get mental problem anytime soon. Honestly for what she said, I have thought of it myself before. But I don't feel like changing anything now. I'm happy being alone so far.

Reminiscing the past, my life was really full of tears... Being someone pessimistic is really suffering. But I'm glad there are people who I love that keep me holding on with my life.

Dear God, I'm not afraid of a hard life because you told me nothing is impossible. I'm just scared of having a life which keeps on hurting me miserably inside. You are the only one who can see all the scars that I'm having and You know exactly how much am I still able to afford. I thank You for what you have given me, I thank You for everything. I love You, Jesus!

Love Hui ♥