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Monday, February 27, 2012

My 20th Year

Last night was my ex-working-company gathering dinner at i-Lotus. Yes, I have officially quit my job and I'm unemployed now. My parents went to the dinner as well as Maria. I thank her so much for going to the dinner just for me. They celebrated my birthday as a surprise. I didn't expect that, or should I say I didn't really thought of my birthday at all?

I have no idea why they don't just use 2 big candles to represent my age instead of 20 candles. The cake looks like it's on fire. LOL Anyway, they were all relight candles. So you can imagine how hard for me to blow them off.

I reached home at around 12AM. Only very few people greeted me that time, through Whatsapp I mean. I was honestly waiting for a person's greeting that time but I didn't expect much. And yeah... I didn't get it. I slept at 3AM, accompanied my mum watching her movies all night long. I woke up at 9AM today and didn't wanna went to sleep again. I don't wanna mess up my sleeping time. I got some birthday's Whatsapps when I opened my eyes.

At around 11.30AM, my mum brought me to Seria. This year I didn't order myself a cake like the years before. I actually wanted to order from Sweet Addictions, I started to contact her through Facebook one month before. But too bad, she still didn't manage to do my order. I got disappointed and in the end, I don't want a cake anymore. I don't have the urge of wanting a birthday cake when my birthday got nearer. I don't wanna waste money also so I bought myself a very small piece of chocolate mousse cake, just for the sake of my birthday wish.

Maybe I'm just superstitious? I believe God will give every person a single wish on their birthday, just one. So my wish has to be made on the actual day itself, not advance, not belated. In the afternoon at around 2.30PM, I sang myself the birthday song, I made my wish to God, all alone. Speaking the truth, I cried... Tears just won't stop dropping since around 2PM, even when I bathed. It's the first time I'm not that happy on my birthday, my first time crying sadly on my birthday. *You don't need to ask for the reasons because if I wanna said it, I already have written it out here.*

Anyway, forget about it. I bought myself Kaizen sushi for my dinner today. Wee~ I just wanna eat something I love today. But my dad doesn't eat sushi, mum just ate a little. I actually wanted to cook spaghetti as well but mum doesn't really like it so I cancelled it. Mummy then cooked me chicken wine soup.

The best present I got this year is the greetings and blessings by everyone. Yes, I didn't get any "touchable & visible" present this time. But you know what? Some of the greetings at Facebook are enough to make me smile today already. Thank you everyone!! Thanks for all the blessings, I just need that a lot!

Just one year difference, I feel that I have lost many things. I can't specify what, but my world seem to be more quiet now. I feel like my world is getting bigger, but emptier. You know what I mean? I'm lazy to explain too. Ah well, I just hope today ends faster. I'm just too emotionally weak today...

One of my beloved friends, thank you for doing so much for me. Thanks for spending your precious time with me last night. Thanks for your "special greeting," it made me cried.

Thanks again everyone! No matter how hard is my life right now, I'll survive, I'll try my very best to keep moving on... You might think that I'm just too useless but I don't expect anyone of you to understand my feelings unless you have encountered all what I had been going through. I'm just getting very tired. Phfttt... Anyway, I love you all. God bless! =)

Love Hui ♥

7:50 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2012

22/02/2012

I took a few hours off from work to send wen off at the airport with Maria and Jess in the afternoon. I don't think we really talked much though. But we took some photos. =)

Any difference? Anyway, just hope she is doing fine in Melbourne and take good care of herself. Hope the time could run a little bit faster for her but not for me. Haha xD

At night I have a party at my office with some of my sister's friends. I invited Maria and Jess to join us as well. Before it ended, I went home myself first when Maria them left. Luckily I did so because the next day, my sister told me they played until 5.30AM!! Kik or not? haha

Love Hui ♥

9:45 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Beautiful Day

Yesterday I was mad tired because I didn't really have my sleep at all the previous night. However, my mood was beautiful since the beginning of the day I don't know why. Even when listening to songs, I felt beautiful. I had my last singing lesson in the afternoon, learning the challenging song 《如果这就是爱情》 and last week I learned it with a terrible moody mood. This song is damn so hard for me!! I just can't follow the tempo right. But yesterday I was happy even though I still can't do well at all.

After I finished my class, Maria and Jess told me they wanna come to find me. They even brought me a big surprise --- Wen! It was really surprising because I never thought of it before. I never expect anything as well except the last few seconds when I opened the door. We then chit-chatted at the classroom, sitting on the floor, drinking, eating, listening to music and also took some photos.

*Too bad this picture is a bit blurry*

I went home to have my shower at around 7PM and went out with maria again at 9+PM to meet wen at the Waterfront there. YES! Finally I went to Waterfront Yayasan Kaizen for the very first time!! The place is really so nice. I wanna go there again soon with anyone else.

After done our eating, we went out to breathe in some fresh air outside and talked about life, about Brunei! Our topics are getting so mature eh? LOL We said goodbye to wen when her parents called. No idea what time was it. However, Maria and I continue our talk at there but different spot. We talked until around 12AM like that. Life's hard man... *sigh* 无奈啊无奈~

That's all for my beautiful day. There's no point in talking about the past when you know there's no turning back at all anymore. So for some of the things, why don't we just keep it inside the heart? =)

Love Hui ♥

10:22 PM
Monday, February 20, 2012

《晓慧,加油!》

我觉得自己比以前更加坚强一点了
有比以前来得更加乐观些许了
有时候在别人面前可以忍着不落泪了
很多事情慢慢看开了
习惯了,就好了

噢耶
我,会继续努力的
加油!

Love Hui ♥

1:57 AM
Saturday, February 18, 2012

《我很好》

*旧相片*

这几天你在那个城市天气一定晴朗
因为你就是个太阳
有空想念我的话就上线来说晚安
让梦里星光灿烂
别再担心我什么了
别把我宠坏

没有你在的时候当然有些平淡孤单
但我感谢这份孤单
让我更加确定你是我不可缺少的那一半
让我感觉完整的那一半
不怕明天的世界会变成怎样
只要看见你笑脸我就温暖
不管外面的世界想变成怎样
我们还有属于我们的小小“世界”

你就是我幸福的礼物
我祈祷这份礼物能一直与我同在

Love Hui ♥

12:28 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2012

My Uniqueness

During school times, I had met a lot of new people but none of them ever asked about my voice. However, after I had came up to Bandar here to work, there were so many people who asked me about my sexy voice. It has became so common to me now that I got no surprise when anyone asks me about it.

"Is your voice originally like this or are you sick?"
"Are you sick? Why is your voice so sexy?"
"OMG, what happened to your voice?"
"Is your throat not feeling well or is it under bad condition now?"

I actually love my voice very much because not everybody has it. I can't hear my own voice so I never really know my voice is sexy. After came to Bandar, then I know how sexy is my voice. When more and more people asking about it, especially in a shocking way and so on, I started to doubt that whether having sexy voice is a good thing? The last guy who asked me about this said, my sister and I look kinda alike, but why is our voices so much big difference. Who said sisters that look alike have to have similar voice also?

I feel funny whenever people ask me about this. Even my mum laughed at their reactions. Helloooooo, is it a wrong thing to have sexy voice? I still like it very much, I don't want to hate it. It's my own uniqueness. =)

By the way, is my voice really so sexy that grabs people's attention? LOL

Love Hui ♥

11:58 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day 2012

It's just another usual day for me. I feel nothing. I'm neither happy nor sad about it. But hey, just when everything seems to be nothing, I got a surprise present! It's a bouquet of flowers. For your information, I had never received any real flowers from anyone else before. So this is my very first time.

I felt kinda happy receiving this but it only lasted for a few seconds. I had actually been looking forward for my first bouquet of flowers for some time already but why isn't it from my lover???? *disappoined* The flowers is given by my sister's boyfriend, my boss!! LOL weird? A little I guess? haha Never thought of it as well... But anyway, still thank him a lot for it.

Valentine's day is not only meant for couples only. It's for everyone who loves someone else in the world. May it be your parents, your siblings, your friends. So this year, I got my mum a present.

My mum, just like me, we are both unhealthy. But she is not that young already so I got her this. I didn't give her this as a surprise. I bought it when she was there with me. I just asked whether she knows how to drink this stuff and told her I will buy one for her as Valentine's present. It doesn't cost me much but yeah... My mum has actually got a lot of these healthy stuffs from my brothers or sister but she never really drinks it. She just left all of them at one side. I know her too well so I have to nag her to drink it when I go home. =.=

That's all about my Valentine's day this year. How about yours? Do you have a great one? 今年的情人节我一个人,明年的情人节我也要一个人。祝大家情人节快乐,也希望有情人终成眷属。

Love Hui ♥

8:20 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2012

东南西北,嘿!

我挺想念我直直的长发的。
不过,我依然和我的卷发相处的很好。
所以暂时我都不用把它接回来。
那时的我好像比现在瘦一点吼?
哎呀,不重要啦。
旁边的那位梁天福啊~
我也挺想你的。
半年没见你了,半年没和你面对面聊天了。
等你回来,我们再一起拍照吧。呵呵

我和福福,我们从不谈心事。
但每一次,我们却有一大堆的话可以聊。
都是废话吧?我也不知道。
这份友谊,毫无压力。
自在,舒服,开心。
总之,我就是想你了呗。^_^

我的老哥,我的冒牌男友,我的Bii~ 哈哈
家里除了妈妈以外,就剩下他偶尔会陪我谈谈心了。
他是家里年纪和我最相近的了。
虽然现在他都被很多朋友唱,说他重色轻友。
虽然他也不怎么找我出去了。
不过,当我闷闷不乐,沉默不语的时候,
他问了我一句:“你怎么了?还好吗?”
这句出乎意料的关心,把我给温暖了。
但我只是摇摇头说:“我没事。”

在我心里,还有一个人是我非常非常想念的。
但我想告诉这个人的话,还是放在心里好了。

我会很努力很努力的大笑的。
我会一直告诉自己要加油的。
我会提醒自己微笑的。
谢谢你们。我很想你们。我爱你们。

Love Hui ♥

12:02 AM
Wednesday, February 8, 2012

《现在不再是从前》

姓名:林晓慧
年龄:即将20岁
生日:2月27日
生肖:猴子
星座:双鱼
身高:没超过165cm
体重:60 - 70kg
家里排行:老幺
学业:安排当中
职业:私人助理 (暂时性)
朋友:不多
婚姻状况:单身
爱做的事:吃、睡、娱乐
品行:不差
人格:古灵精怪、傻里傻气、疯疯癫癫、悲观爱哭、琢磨不定




人生有很多的变数。有些事是一辈子都不会改变的。但有很多事却在随着宇宙定律在行走。
陪我走过2011年的人不会看见我的变化。但错过我部份故事的人,他们却感觉到了我的大转变。
或许很多人不喜欢我的转变,但我相信这个转变对我或许是好的。我不讨厌,也不憎恨。
在这里,我诚心的和大家说声抱歉。我找不回以前的晓慧了,对不起。
一切已无法回头。发生过的事,我忘不了。
如果你是真的在乎的,那你介意花时间,重新认识我吗?

现在的晓慧,渐渐的把很多事情收藏起来。不爱交流,不爱解释。变得越来越沉默不语。
懂你的人,不需要解释;不懂你的人,何必去解释?你说对吗?
我依然不喜欢自己的悲观。虽然那些过去看似已经很久以前了,但如今的我仍然为此落泪。
是天性吧?不管我怎么努力,还是一次又一次被悲观打败。

有好多好多的回忆是我非常怀念的。那些欢乐,那些单纯,那些疯狂。
有时候我真的好希望它们永远不会只是回忆。但你能控制吗?
人生有好多事让我感觉好无奈。但除了无奈,还是无奈。我改变不了任何的人事物。

看到的微笑,可以是伪装的,用来掩盖难过的伤痛。
看到的冷漠,可以是骗人的。藏起来的眼泪与伤痛你又看得见吗?
或许大家都把真心封闭了起来,除了自己,没有人会知道最真实的答案。
我也不强求了。要走要留,随你们的便。
如果讨厌我,我的世界也不会欢迎你们。
以前的我,因为害怕失去,努力保护自己在乎的。
现在的我,因为害怕失去,反而选择了不去拥有。
现在不是从前。以前的我是如何的,不代表现在的我也会是如此的。

事情再怎么坏,一定会有一小部份是好的,美丽的。
人只要不要求,知足,会更容易感到幸福吧?
一切顺其自然就好,习惯就好。
我不说了。说多,错多。上帝保佑。

Love Hui ♥

3:17 AM
Thursday, February 2, 2012

Just A Post

One month of 2012 has just gone. Fast right? I know... I'm just looking forward for a day in this month I guess?

Maria is now at my place, outside the living room, gambling with my sister them. While I myself, stay inside the room alone, and thinking of a lot of stuffs.

Well, honestly, I don't know what to talk about today. So yeah, I guess that's all. Bye.

Love Hui ♥

9:51 PM


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Sheau Hui is my name.
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