My 20th Year

Last night was my ex-working-company gathering dinner at i-Lotus. Yes, I have officially quit my job and I'm unemployed now. My parents went to the dinner as well as Maria. I thank her so much for going to the dinner just for me. They celebrated my birthday as a surprise. I didn't expect that, or should I say I didn't really thought of my birthday at all?

I have no idea why they don't just use 2 big candles to represent my age instead of 20 candles. The cake looks like it's on fire. LOL Anyway, they were all relight candles. So you can imagine how hard for me to blow them off.

I reached home at around 12AM. Only very few people greeted me that time, through Whatsapp I mean. I was honestly waiting for a person's greeting that time but I didn't expect much. And yeah... I didn't get it. I slept at 3AM, accompanied my mum watching her movies all night long. I woke up at 9AM today and didn't wanna went to sleep again. I don't wanna mess up my sleeping time. I got some birthday's Whatsapps when I opened my eyes.

At around 11.30AM, my mum brought me to Seria. This year I didn't order myself a cake like the years before. I actually wanted to order from Sweet Addictions, I started to contact her through Facebook one month before. But too bad, she still didn't manage to do my order. I got disappointed and in the end, I don't want a cake anymore. I don't have the urge of wanting a birthday cake when my birthday got nearer. I don't wanna waste money also so I bought myself a very small piece of chocolate mousse cake, just for the sake of my birthday wish.

Maybe I'm just superstitious? I believe God will give every person a single wish on their birthday, just one. So my wish has to be made on the actual day itself, not advance, not belated. In the afternoon at around 2.30PM, I sang myself the birthday song, I made my wish to God, all alone. Speaking the truth, I cried... Tears just won't stop dropping since around 2PM, even when I bathed. It's the first time I'm not that happy on my birthday, my first time crying sadly on my birthday. *You don't need to ask for the reasons because if I wanna said it, I already have written it out here.*

Anyway, forget about it. I bought myself Kaizen sushi for my dinner today. Wee~ I just wanna eat something I love today. But my dad doesn't eat sushi, mum just ate a little. I actually wanted to cook spaghetti as well but mum doesn't really like it so I cancelled it. Mummy then cooked me chicken wine soup.

The best present I got this year is the greetings and blessings by everyone. Yes, I didn't get any "touchable & visible" present this time. But you know what? Some of the greetings at Facebook are enough to make me smile today already. Thank you everyone!! Thanks for all the blessings, I just need that a lot!

Just one year difference, I feel that I have lost many things. I can't specify what, but my world seem to be more quiet now. I feel like my world is getting bigger, but emptier. You know what I mean? I'm lazy to explain too. Ah well, I just hope today ends faster. I'm just too emotionally weak today...

One of my beloved friends, thank you for doing so much for me. Thanks for spending your precious time with me last night. Thanks for your "special greeting," it made me cried.

Thanks again everyone! No matter how hard is my life right now, I'll survive, I'll try my very best to keep moving on... You might think that I'm just too useless but I don't expect anyone of you to understand my feelings unless you have encountered all what I had been going through. I'm just getting very tired. Phfttt... Anyway, I love you all. God bless! =)

Love Hui ♥