Down!!

Just got back from Bandar. Kinda tiring and I'm heading to bed after this post. Didn't study anything much today.

Well, first of all, I went to Bandar to visit my sister-in-law just now. She is fine actually. Just not convenient in doing things now and she will be having her operation this Saturday morning. We arrived at the hospital at around 8.30pm and since we never been there before, we all were a bit sakai about it. The parking spaces are so small and kinda dangerous if you're not having good driving skills. The hospital is very big and crowded. We talked until around 9.30pm. My sister-in-law will not be working for about a month or more than that since her arm will be wrapped with cement after the operation.

My brother and sister-in-law told us that my eldest niece actually knows her mum is in hospital since she saw her mum falling down that time. Oya, one correction here. My niece was behind her mum and not underneath her when the incident happened. Anyway, my niece is so caring for her mum. She warns her mum not to wear high heels anymore. Only can wear short high heels. She is well behaved even her mum is not around. She just asked her grandmother how many days she still has to wait for her mum to get back home. She reported her mum everything about her homework and school stuffs through phone.

My sister-in-law also told my mum that my niece has won a lot of competitions at school. She got the first place for many competitions until the other class teachers asked her class teacher not to let her join in any competitions anymore. If not, she will be the champion again. She got the first place for her examination as well. She is intelligent and great!!! However, if not mistaken, she might be a bit same as me, giving herself pressure and scared of disappointing the others because her mum told us that my niece said she doesn't wanna join certain competition as she's worried she might not be able to do well and win later. Overall, she is still amazing!!!

Okay, back to the topic. After leaving the hospital, my eldest brother brought us for dinner. We have Bakuteh!! Yum yum. At around 10.30pm, we went home. I had a good chat with mum when on the way home. We talked about my future, my career and so on. Told my mum about going to New Zealand for my dentistry course if I manage to get good results. I told my mum if possible I might be working there after my course since the currency there is a bit higher than Brunei. But mum said not good. Later I become New Zealand's people and she can hardly see me. So the main point is she doesn't want me to work overseas and not coming back here. Therefore, I told her I have to apply for yellow I.C. in the future for my own good when it comes to finding job here.

After that, I finally asked my mum about joining the Christian thingy and that's the reason for my title. She didn't strongly disagreed or what. I know why she said it's useless and it ways better to believe in yourself than Jesus and so on.... The main problem is that if I join christian, I will not be allowed to touch the joss sticks and cannot go 祭拜 my parents and my grandparents them when they're no longer here (on Earth). I have thought of this problem as well. There isn't any solutions for me yet. Conversation stopped after this and honestly I feel down... It's impossible for me to tell my mum the real reasons for it. I can't do it! I just can't! It's impossible to tell my mum like....."hey mum, I wanna join christian because I'm a pessimistic and highly emotional person and it's God that saved me and so on..." NO WAY!!! She will most probably feel worried if I do so...

So what should I do now? After thinking for very long time, I have decided to focus on what's coming up first. I don't want to join the christian without my parents agreeing with it. It's like forcing them to accept it. I don't like it. So I'll just wait again for the right time and ask again.

What am I going to do now are:
1. focus on my qualifying exam
2. get my car license
3. joining the christian
4. 'A' level
5. dentistry course

I don't wanna think so much about it now so I'll just give all my worries to Jesus now. I believe that everything will be fine. All I need to do now is concentrate in my coming exams!

Actually I get a lot of encouragements from God and that's why I'm not feeling so stressed out for the exam this time. Even Jong noticed it. I just follow the flow and try my best for everything. I don't want to force myself and mess up everything. Honestly, I still feel like going out even though I'm not having enough time for my revision.

I had Maths p6 test today and most probably I will fail. I have checked the answers and counted my marks. If not mistaken, I will only get 44 for it. I did cry about it when I knew I will fail but it's just because I didn't expect that. It will be okay if I pass even with very low marks. Somehow, I'm totally fine about it now. Mr. Chan said he doesn't want to care anymore so I didn't give myself much pressure anymore. I chatted with him about it just now and always keep in mind for what he says, "learn from mistakes." So yeah, I'm fine and I believe I will do more and more better next time. I won't give up!!

Well, I think that's all for now. God bless me! I love you, Jesus!
Wish everyone good luck for the coming exams as well. All the best!!

Love Hui ♥